The path to bliss afloat

23.17 in afloat, and, at, bliss, Boat Plans, earning, freak, luck, path, rips, sea, the, tide, to, waves

THIS IS A QUESTION for the men: Do you have a female partner who is not a mad-keen sailor herself? If so, I have good news for you. I have been handed the answer to inter-gender bliss on board.

First, and most importantly, you must remember that she is not your crew. She is your lady love, the light of your life, your dearest darling, and you are taking her for a nice ride. Consequently, accept that you are singlehanding. Yes, it’s true. You have a passenger. But you are singlehanding.

It’s also true that if you go cruising and find a beautiful quiet anchorage, she will probably offer to make supper, especially if you first serve her drinks in the cockpit at sunset. But you should not rely on her to bring you back if you fall overboard — not because she doesn’t want you back (although, sadly, that may be true in some cases) but because she honestly doesn’t feel capable of getting the sails down on her own, finding the Lifesling, starting the engine, and avoiding running over you with the propeller. That’s not why she came sailing.

She did not come sailing to be shouted at, either. She is not your crew. She is your passenger. Do try to remember that. So you can’t shout at her. You can give no commands. You can give no orders. You’re on your own, remember. She is an ornament. She is your treasure. Treat her accordingly. (True feminists might find this a bit sickening, but let’s pretend it’s okay for the purposes of our argument.)

Thus, you should set up your boat for singlehanding. Invest in an autopilot and a self-steering wind vane if you’re going offshore. Don’t expect your darling partner to grind winches like a deck ape, or reef the gnarly mainsail in Force 8.

Having accepted this arrangement with good grace, you might be surprised when she does spontaneously offer help from time to time, when she takes the fenders in of her own accord, or shortens the dinghy painter when you’re about to back over it, without being asked. You might even be surprised by how much she actually does know about sailing, and how competent she would be in an emergency. But nothing should be taken for granted. You should not expect it, or require it. Let it be a surprise when it happens. And for gawd’s sake show gratitude when it does.

It should also be no surprise to anyone that my wife dictated this column, though I have to say she has stuck with me lo these many decades. I recall only one occasion when she threatened to jump overboard, and that was during a dinghy race when she had more than her usual amount of difficulty with hoisting the spinnaker and she took exception to the valuable advice I was giving her. Otherwise, apart from the remarks about Captain Bligh that escaped on occasions, we have got on very well together on our boats.

Of course, I realize that advice like this is easier to hand out than to follow, but if it helps prevent a split in the partnership it’s worth persevering with. And while the path to marital bliss never was smooth, you have it within your power to smooth out the sailing bumps. You’re singlehanding. Just accept it.

Today’s Thought

There are only about 20 murders a year in London, and not all are serious — some are just husbands killing their wives.

— G. H. Hatherill, Commander, Scotland Yard, 1 Jul 54

Tailpiece

Beware of the man who insists he’s the boss on his boat. He’ll probably lie about other things, too.

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At a loss for words

05.14 in 25, a, and, at, Boat Plans, for, freak, in, loss, love, rips, tide, vertue, waves, with, words

WHEN I WAS VERY YOUNG and still learning the language of sailors, I was shanghaied to crew on 38-foot wooden racing sloop, a 30-Square Meter, with a bucking jib. To this day, I don’t know how a bucking jib differs from an ordinary jib. The skipper was a crusty old salt who could get over-excited on occasion, so I never found the courage to ask him. Not that I would have known what to ask, in any case.

But I did know that it wasn’t just an ordinary jib, because every time we came charging up to the stone jetty at the yacht club after a day on the water, out of control as usual, he would jump up and down in the cockpit and shout fiercely: “Don’t just stand there, boy! Get that bucking jib down.” Which I did, every time, with great promptitude, fearful of his wrath.

Thinking about this recently made we wonder about the language other sailors use to get their sails down. I mean, you can lower the jib or you can strike it. You can douse it, drop it, take (or haul) it down (or in), and furl it.

A phrase such as “Strike the mainsail!” has a fine ring about it, but I fear not many present-day sailors use it. According to my trusty dictionary, to strike sail meant “to lower one or more sails suddenly, as in a sharp maneuver, approach of a squall, or in token of surrender; also as a salute to a superior ship, a sovereign, etc.”

On any boat I’ve owned we just dropped the sail, but I have heard other skippers use the word “douse.” The dictionary describes douse as: “To suddenly let go, strike, haul down, lower, or take in, as a sail ...”

You’ll notice that once again there is a hurriedness about it, a sense of urgency. There simply doesn’t seem to be a sailor’s word for those occasions when you don’t care how long it takes your wife to get the main down, those nice gentle days when you’re just slipping along quietly with everything under control, and no squalls, sovereigns, or superior ships causing you anxiety.

What  is needed is a sailorly word or short phrase that indicates to your crew that she can just ease the sail down slowly, gently flake it on top of the boom, tie the gaskets nicely (taking all the time in the world to get the reef knots with their sweet little ends sticking out right) and put the mainsail cover on over everything, laced up and smoothed down, before she rushes down below to pour your gin-and-tonic, start the stove, and get supper ready.

You’d think we’d have a phrase for it by now, wouldn’t you? But no, I can’t think of one. “Ease the main” is already taken and means something else in any case. There’s something unsuitably suggestive about “Gentle the main,” while “Take down the mainsail at your leisure, darling, and fold it gently” is too long and sissy-like.

I simply can’t imagine why no-one has come up with a suitable verb or phrase in all the years that have passed since women were allowed to crew on boats. It’s high time somebody did.

Today’s Thought 

I am under the spell of language, which has ruled me since I was 10.

— V. S. Pritchett

Tailpiece

“And how would you like your hair cut, sir?”

“Off.”

“Yes, sir, but what style?”

“What are your prices?”

“Haircut $15, shave $10.”
"So okay, shave it to a short back and sides."

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Freak waves and tide rips

09.03 in and, Boat Plans, freak, heater, iced, otter, pity, poor, rips, that, the, tide, up, waves

MOST OF US by now have come to realize that freak ocean waves are not really freak at all. They are real and quite regular, though the chances of meeting one in a small yacht are quite remote. They are the result of waves in regular trains riding on each others’ backs.

In any sea state, there are many wave trains present, each with its own speed, height, and direction. They constantly get into and out of step with each other, and every now and then it just happens that a number of these components will get into synch and produce an exceptionally high wave. The same conditions may also produce an unusually low trough, incidentally, and large ships have often reported dropping into huge holes in the ocean without warning, mostly with severe damage.

As a matter of interest, the probability of occurrence of exceptionally high waves may be calculated mathematically:

Ø It has been shown that one wave in 23 is over twice the height the average wave in a sea state.

Ø One wave in 1,175 is over three times the average height.

Ø One wave in over 300,000 exceeds four times the average height.

But what is not so well known is the fact that it’s not only the deep ocean that can produce “freak” waves in generally moderate conditions. If you’re running in from the sea, and you pass over a shallow bank, you can meet some quite alarmingly large waves.  It doesn’t seem right that larger waves should form in shallower water, but it comes about because a wave “feeling the bottom” is slowed down by friction, and therefore the distance between crests is reduced. The energy in the waves remains the same,  but it’s being compressed into a smaller area, and that energy has to go somewhere, so it extends upwards. In other words, the waves get bigger and steeper. It’s like pushing a carpet along the floor from one end.

Over shallow banks, and, of course, at the beach, the wave activity can be more dangerous than it is farther out in deep water. The same thing happens when waves run into an opposing current, as we know full well around here in Puget Sound, with its various tide rips. It’s interesting to note that a wave will be stopped completely by an opposing current traveling at one quarter of the speed of the wave. That wave literally hits the wall and rears up as a frightening cliff of water.

The Scripps Institute of Oceanography has shown that waves entering an area of opposing currents can quite easily have their heights raised by 50 to 100 percent in currents as low as 2 to 3 knots, creating breaking waves even in the absence of local wind.

The lesson to be drawn from this is that skippers of small yachts cruising for pleasure in coastal waters, and even in comparatively calm waters such as those of the Salish Sea, should keep a good watch for unusual patches and shadows on the water. Stay well clear of them, and keep away from charted overfalls and tide rips. They can be deadly for small boats.

Today’s Thought

Out of sight of land the sailor feels safe.

It is the beach that worries him.                                                  

— Charles G. Davis

Tailpiece

“Won’t your mother be angry if she sees you in that skimpy swimsuit?”
"Yeah, I guess so. Its hers."

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